One of the highlights on a weekend is N’s breakfast on a Saturday or Sunday morning. I’ve posted several breakfast scenes on this blog, all made by my husband-to-be. I am one lucky woman. My top three breakfast dishes of N’s would be: strawberry french toast, pancakes and shackshuka. So much better than going out for brunch!
This weekend was a quiet one, as usual. We binged watch several episodes of “The Politician” on Netflix. It’s hilarious. It’s quirky and different to other shows in terms of its satirical humour with exaggerated characters and plot lines. There are two seasons so we are set (meaning no more scrolling through Netflix after dinner for the next few days).
Another absolute favourite is N’s clam with white wine pasta. I heap on a tonne of chill flakes and inhale it. It’s so delicious.
I don’t even remember what I did on Sunday. I just flipped through my planner and now I recall going to TJ’s for the week’s grocery run, practicing ‘Mariage d’amour’ on the piano (my July piece which is actually quite fun to practice), yoga and studying a bit. It was a pleasant weekend nonetheless.
Each day seems like a repeat of yoga, studying, working, reading, walking and then watching some T.V or YouTube clips. On the weekend it’s the same without work, obviously, and usually it’s a nap in the afternoon or a picnic to eat and read outdoors. I spent the whole Saturday reading ‘Bad Blood‘ by John Carreyrou . I couldn’t put it down and finished it by the end of the day. It’s just one of those books you read incredulously, in absolute disbelief that this happened in real life – recently! You’re unable to put it down because you want to know what will happen next and how it’ll end. It’s shocking to know that she got away with it for so long. It really makes me wonder whether America is a breeding ground for sociopaths, that is, self-serving people who have no conscience. I mean, just look at the White House and you already know of one there. In my personal experience, I’ve met more of these types since moving to the States. It could be that the culture here reveres success associated with title and money, obsessed with status and fame, more so than in other countries. Thus, the ruthlessness in the conquest to reach such “success” is perceived as one’s level of ambition, a positive trait that is necessary to rise above the competitive landscape, notwithstanding the lack of conscience in their actions to get there. This observation has made me think twice about raising children here. We shall see.
My next read is a Korean book and the title, translated to English, is “I want to die but I want to eat ddeokbboki“.
I started this blog to, not only take more photos, but try and improve my writing skills and practice more. There’s a part of me that feels embarrassed, the “I’m not good enough” thought, the chronic feelings associated with imposter syndrome. I read that to improve your writing, you need to read more (which I already do) and to write. Another tip was to write down sentences or paragraphs that make you wonder how the author can come up with such an expression. Back in the day as a university student, I used to work as a part-time court monitor and typist. After weeks of listening and transcribing judgments, I found myself writing in the judge’s vernacular for my own law assignments. It may have been my first assignment to receive a Distinction.
This lock-down period has allowed me to read voraciously. Maybe I should start underlining parts of the book that I like and post it on this blog. Perhaps for my 2019 book list post (in draft), I’ll go back through these books and quote at least three sentences or paragraphs that stood out to me. Another 2020 project on this list? The other reason for not writing as much on this blog is the fear of being judged, as well as being disingenuous with what I write. I have no idea who reads this blog so it may be a laughable, self-inflicted, self-absorbed conundrum, but there is the sense of vulnerability in writing out my personal thoughts and opinions on this microscopic public space I’ve carved out for myself on the World Wide Web. Am I writing to cater for whoever may read this and, therefore, write in a way I wish to project myself unto strangers? Am I going to regret this later on? Perhaps I am just over-thinking all this. I’ll think of it as an exercise to giving less, and eventually, no f*cks.
Back to the Weekend Stories theme, here are some photos of our walk over Brooklyn Bridge and then being struck by an ominous rain cloud that appeared, then disappeared by the time we walked over it. Talk about timing.
As an Asian born and raised in Australia, who now has lived in the United States for four years, I can tell you, just hearing and witnessing the corruption, greed and the culture of self-interest has made me an angry person. My friends in Australia tell me I’ve become an angry or angrier person. It’s true. The administration, obviously, infuriates me; the greed and self-preservation of the 1% at the top, the insidious corporate power over this country’s political system, the systemic and oppressive racism entrenched in the in the American livelihood is conniving, tragic and disturbing. What happened to altruism? I can’t imagine what life is like as a black man or woman in America but I feel as though the only thing I can do is try and walk in their shoes, engage with others, as well as educate myself to be aware of the atrocities and inequities that exist. Yes, I have experienced racism directed towards me as an Asian, but have I ever feared for my brother or father or fiance’s life when they head out the door, to worry whether they’ll be back home safe with no encounters with the police? That’s the difference isn’t it? Our privilege to feel safe when the police is around, when a group of our community do not feel that same way.
I’ve seen a relative of mine post on Instagram about her experience on “racism”, which really, in turn, was a reflection of her own lack of self-awareness and introspection. She then continued to say how she wished for her half-Asian boys to never feel “less” for not being fully white. I rolled my eyes at it at first and then it made me angry. See? I’m angry. Again. She not only trivializes the ongoing protests against police brutality and institutional racism to her own revelations of “self-identity” and so called “struggles”, she then tries to “enlighten” her other self-absorbed Christian friends living in the Nordic bubble and followers to “pray for wisdom” and let the “holy spirit reveal the truth” about racism. What in the actual eff? I’m not a specialist in education, but I’m pretty certain this is not how you educate yourself! How about go read a book, maybe multiple books, and yes, non-goddamn-christian books because you won’t go to hell for it, OK? Seek various sources such as documentaries, articles and interviews to educate yourself. Read and listen with an open heart and a critical eye. I’m no expert either, but please stop with your incoherent sermons and get off your imaginary moral high horse.
Am I angry? Yes. Do I feel better writing it here? Yes. Do I sound vindictive? I hope not. This is just my opinion.
Let’s wind down with some peaceful Sunday morning moments below from the weekend.
Half-way through the year and what a start to the new decade.
Finished ‘When All is Said’ by Anne Griffin over the weekend and I took a moment to bid farewell to Maurice (the protagonist). I teared up a couple of times, a heart-breaking and sentimental novel.
We had helicopters and sirens blasting in the evening over the weekend. The frustration and anger, the helplessness and desperation, is palpable. Enough is enough. Justice must be served.
There needs to be awareness and education of ongoing and generational institutional and systemic racism in this country.
November is critical to rid the incompetent demagogue residing in the White House right now.
I took the Friday off and had a four-day long weekend with Monday being Memorial Day. It was a much needed break and I felt recharged after the weekend.
It was the usual routine on Friday and Saturday. I filled the day with things I wanted to do. On Sunday, we went cycling to Coney Island and back. We stopped by N’s childhood home and got to see the highschool he attended. Brooklyn is such a huge, segmented area. When you cycle through it, you feel like you just passed through some imaginary wall. That’s how apparent the contrast is demographically. We ate Nathan’s hotdogs and walked along the pier. We then cycled back, took a break at Prospect Park and had two other friends join us for Korean dinner. Our first reunion since the lockdown measure. NYC now allows up to 10 people to gather.
It was a very, very good idea to go on a Sunday to have Monday as the recovery day. I will plan another long weekend, at least once a month.
The longer you work from home, the more sacred the weekends become. You’re still at home, in the same place, but the sheer fact that you don’t need to login and have 48 hours to do whatever in that same environment feels liberating, as dramatic as that may sound.
Cycling is becoming a weekend ritual now. We cycled across Brooklyn Bridge and around the empty streets of Lower Manhattan.
It did feel eerie seeing the once-buzzing, now-desolate streets of Chinatown and SoHo. Our first stop was Levain Bakery as they were still open for takeout. I stocked up on my favourite oatmeal raisin cookies.
We cycled up to Union Square, took a break there (I ate a cookie), got pizza at Joe’s Pizza and I had my first bubble tea in months! The whole day felt like a reminder that I do, indeed, still live in New York City. Sometimes, not only do you lose track of time, you also lose sense of the city you live in at large as you are confined to your home and neighbouring areas.
It was such a nice weekend, the weather was perfect and I got to try a Turkish breakfast dish called çılbır for the first time, prepared by my favourite person.
Later we went for a walk to Fort Greene Park. While N went running, I sat on a bench, in the sun and read my book.
We went back home and I made egg nigiri sushi with Shin black ramyun. I’m enjoying these relaxing weekends and being outside in the warmer weather.
Based on the evidence above, should I even be surprised that I’ve gained weight? I read an article that we shouldn’t worry about gaining weight during the coronavirus pandemic. It said that will only add more stress to our lives. That exercise doesn’t really do much (running 30minutes only burns 260 calories, which at that point you can cut down on a muesli bar). It focused on diet, health and portion control. Maybe I need to start tracking my meals, eat no carbs for dinner and try to eat non-processed foods as much as possible.
Saturday was the usual – studying, reading, baking (banana bread again) and a trip to Trader Joe’s at night.
On Sunday we decided to go for a bike ride to DUMBO and have a picnic to catch some sun. We packed our blanket, books and snacks. It was chilly in the shade but warm in the sun. Our spot for the afternoon was at Brooklyn Bridge Park Pier 3.
