A normal, uneventful work week, although it did involve several outdoor errands in the evening, such as an unsuccessful trek to Queens to look at a bike, a Friday evening cycle back to Downtown Brooklyn to return keys and Verizon hardware. Towards the end of the week I was happy to stay home, which also called for banana muffins on Thursday.
Enjoying the sun in the afternoon on our balcony. Our new apartment faces west, thus we are entrenched with sunlight around lunch time. I finished the leftover salad and admired the evening sun filter through our kitchen and dining table.
Weekend was a quiet one. I went for a morning walk around Prospect Park, explored a new brunch spot with the husband and walked around the neighbourhood. There are Halloween decorations spotted around now! How time flies. Once Halloween goes by, it’s Thanksgiving, then Christmas – and before you know it, you’ve entered the new year.
Husband was out during Sunday and I enjoyed having the apartment to myself for several hours. With both us working from home since April, it did feel like a treat to have the place to myself, alone. I whipped up some kimchi fried rice for brunch, then for dessert I made a cup of tea, sliced an apple and had a portion of the walnut cake.
I finally got around to washing and scrubbing the balcony to install the wooden tiles, read my book in the sun and cooked a hearty curry chicken rice for dinner. I ensconced myself in the apartment for the day, so content and immersed in the moment that I did not take any photographs.
I feel like the month of June was a blur. Each week was a repeat of the last one. I definitely got into bit of a funk, compared to May. I wasn’t waking up early, doing less, skipping some days on yoga and avoiding people. It could be just a cycle and all I have to do is ride it out.
It was the final weekend of June 2020. A weekend, again, consisting of coffee, reading, parks and walks.
Each day seems like a repeat of yoga, studying, working, reading, walking and then watching some T.V or YouTube clips. On the weekend it’s the same without work, obviously, and usually it’s a nap in the afternoon or a picnic to eat and read outdoors. I spent the whole Saturday reading ‘Bad Blood‘ by John Carreyrou . I couldn’t put it down and finished it by the end of the day. It’s just one of those books you read incredulously, in absolute disbelief that this happened in real life – recently! You’re unable to put it down because you want to know what will happen next and how it’ll end. It’s shocking to know that she got away with it for so long. It really makes me wonder whether America is a breeding ground for sociopaths, that is, self-serving people who have no conscience. I mean, just look at the White House and you already know of one there. In my personal experience, I’ve met more of these types since moving to the States. It could be that the culture here reveres success associated with title and money, obsessed with status and fame, more so than in other countries. Thus, the ruthlessness in the conquest to reach such “success” is perceived as one’s level of ambition, a positive trait that is necessary to rise above the competitive landscape, notwithstanding the lack of conscience in their actions to get there. This observation has made me think twice about raising children here. We shall see.
My next read is a Korean book and the title, translated to English, is “I want to die but I want to eat ddeokbboki“.
I started this blog to, not only take more photos, but try and improve my writing skills and practice more. There’s a part of me that feels embarrassed, the “I’m not good enough” thought, the chronic feelings associated with imposter syndrome. I read that to improve your writing, you need to read more (which I already do) and to write. Another tip was to write down sentences or paragraphs that make you wonder how the author can come up with such an expression. Back in the day as a university student, I used to work as a part-time court monitor and typist. After weeks of listening and transcribing judgments, I found myself writing in the judge’s vernacular for my own law assignments. It may have been my first assignment to receive a Distinction.
This lock-down period has allowed me to read voraciously. Maybe I should start underlining parts of the book that I like and post it on this blog. Perhaps for my 2019 book list post (in draft), I’ll go back through these books and quote at least three sentences or paragraphs that stood out to me. Another 2020 project on this list? The other reason for not writing as much on this blog is the fear of being judged, as well as being disingenuous with what I write. I have no idea who reads this blog so it may be a laughable, self-inflicted, self-absorbed conundrum, but there is the sense of vulnerability in writing out my personal thoughts and opinions on this microscopic public space I’ve carved out for myself on the World Wide Web. Am I writing to cater for whoever may read this and, therefore, write in a way I wish to project myself unto strangers? Am I going to regret this later on? Perhaps I am just over-thinking all this. I’ll think of it as an exercise to giving less, and eventually, no f*cks.
Back to the Weekend Stories theme, here are some photos of our walk over Brooklyn Bridge and then being struck by an ominous rain cloud that appeared, then disappeared by the time we walked over it. Talk about timing.
As an Asian born and raised in Australia, who now has lived in the United States for four years, I can tell you, just hearing and witnessing the corruption, greed and the culture of self-interest has made me an angry person. My friends in Australia tell me I’ve become an angry or angrier person. It’s true. The administration, obviously, infuriates me; the greed and self-preservation of the 1% at the top, the insidious corporate power over this country’s political system, the systemic and oppressive racism entrenched in the in the American livelihood is conniving, tragic and disturbing. What happened to altruism? I can’t imagine what life is like as a black man or woman in America but I feel as though the only thing I can do is try and walk in their shoes, engage with others, as well as educate myself to be aware of the atrocities and inequities that exist. Yes, I have experienced racism directed towards me as an Asian, but have I ever feared for my brother or father or fiance’s life when they head out the door, to worry whether they’ll be back home safe with no encounters with the police? That’s the difference isn’t it? Our privilege to feel safe when the police is around, when a group of our community do not feel that same way.
I’ve seen a relative of mine post on Instagram about her experience on “racism”, which really, in turn, was a reflection of her own lack of self-awareness and introspection. She then continued to say how she wished for her half-Asian boys to never feel “less” for not being fully white. I rolled my eyes at it at first and then it made me angry. See? I’m angry. Again. She not only trivializes the ongoing protests against police brutality and institutional racism to her own revelations of “self-identity” and so called “struggles”, she then tries to “enlighten” her other self-absorbed Christian friends living in the Nordic bubble and followers to “pray for wisdom” and let the “holy spirit reveal the truth” about racism. What in the actual eff? I’m not a specialist in education, but I’m pretty certain this is not how you educate yourself! How about go read a book, maybe multiple books, and yes, non-goddamn-christian books because you won’t go to hell for it, OK? Seek various sources such as documentaries, articles and interviews to educate yourself. Read and listen with an open heart and a critical eye. I’m no expert either, but please stop with your incoherent sermons and get off your imaginary moral high horse.
Am I angry? Yes. Do I feel better writing it here? Yes. Do I sound vindictive? I hope not. This is just my opinion.
Let’s wind down with some peaceful Sunday morning moments below from the weekend.
Half-way through the year and what a start to the new decade.
Finished ‘When All is Said’ by Anne Griffin over the weekend and I took a moment to bid farewell to Maurice (the protagonist). I teared up a couple of times, a heart-breaking and sentimental novel.
We had helicopters and sirens blasting in the evening over the weekend. The frustration and anger, the helplessness and desperation, is palpable. Enough is enough. Justice must be served.
There needs to be awareness and education of ongoing and generational institutional and systemic racism in this country.
November is critical to rid the incompetent demagogue residing in the White House right now.
The longer you work from home, the more sacred the weekends become. You’re still at home, in the same place, but the sheer fact that you don’t need to login and have 48 hours to do whatever in that same environment feels liberating, as dramatic as that may sound.
Cycling is becoming a weekend ritual now. We cycled across Brooklyn Bridge and around the empty streets of Lower Manhattan.
It did feel eerie seeing the once-buzzing, now-desolate streets of Chinatown and SoHo. Our first stop was Levain Bakery as they were still open for takeout. I stocked up on my favourite oatmeal raisin cookies.
We cycled up to Union Square, took a break there (I ate a cookie), got pizza at Joe’s Pizza and I had my first bubble tea in months! The whole day felt like a reminder that I do, indeed, still live in New York City. Sometimes, not only do you lose track of time, you also lose sense of the city you live in at large as you are confined to your home and neighbouring areas.
It was such a nice weekend, the weather was perfect and I got to try a Turkish breakfast dish called çılbır for the first time, prepared by my favourite person.
Later we went for a walk to Fort Greene Park. While N went running, I sat on a bench, in the sun and read my book.
We went back home and I made egg nigiri sushi with Shin black ramyun. I’m enjoying these relaxing weekends and being outside in the warmer weather.
Based on the evidence above, should I even be surprised that I’ve gained weight? I read an article that we shouldn’t worry about gaining weight during the coronavirus pandemic. It said that will only add more stress to our lives. That exercise doesn’t really do much (running 30minutes only burns 260 calories, which at that point you can cut down on a muesli bar). It focused on diet, health and portion control. Maybe I need to start tracking my meals, eat no carbs for dinner and try to eat non-processed foods as much as possible.
Saturday was the usual – studying, reading, baking (banana bread again) and a trip to Trader Joe’s at night.
On Sunday we decided to go for a bike ride to DUMBO and have a picnic to catch some sun. We packed our blanket, books and snacks. It was chilly in the shade but warm in the sun. Our spot for the afternoon was at Brooklyn Bridge Park Pier 3.
After several days of grey and gloomy days in a row, the sun was out on the weekend with temperatures reaching 23 degrees celsius!
After some quiet time in the morning, we decided to take our bikes out and cycled to Japan Village, which took us around half an hour one way. We had our sunnies on and didn’t need to wear a face mask whilst cycling since we were moving and maintaining a six feet distance from people. I think I will definitely start cycling more. It feels much better than walking around with a face mask on.
I didn’t get to take many photos during the bike ride unfortunately. I was too busy soaking up the sun and taking in the Brooklyn scenery I haven’t seen in for so long! Above is a photo of the goodies we bought – mostly snacks!
On Sunday I stayed home all day. We had breakfast and finished cleaning the apartment. It’s always better to get chores out of the way, get it over and done with, so that you can fully enjoy the rest of the day. We finished watching several TV series such as ‘Little Fires Everywhere’ and ‘Normal People’ on Hulu. I read both the books early last year, in months apart I think. Interesting how they also released it in a similar time frame.’Normal People’ was definitely the better T.V adaption. The chemistry between the actors made you assume they were dating in real life (sadly they are not according to Google) and overall it was filmed intricately and intimately, both visually and emotionally. Towards the end, I felt like I just went on this tumultuous journey of a relationship with them and ended up thinking/feeling about it/them for the next few days. I’m OK now though 🙂
Seems like Saturdays are designated as the guilt-free lazing and napping day. I woke up at 6.30am without the alarm clock, made my coffee and dozed off again after reading. After lazing around, I had another nap in the evening for three hours. It’s weird because I was able to sleep again fine the same night. Although, on Friday I was in this groggy and down mood. I logged off work an hour early and had a nap. I’m still not sure whether I needed to catch up on sleep or I was just escaping reality (sorry, just being dramatic over here). Either way, I feel better now.
N also refrained from sitting in front of the computer screen on Saturday morning so we both lazed around on the sofa in the sun, read our books and relaxed. We had lamacun that he made the day before for lunch and dinner. I am dedicating a separate post for my ultimate favourite Turkish comfort food.
When I have these lazy days, I always feel better the day after. On Sunday I worked through my to-do list of chores, studies and planning during the day. For dinner I made beef udon noodle soup. Dessert was a slice of the banana bread that I made during the week with hazelnut spread. No regrets.
With bleaker news each day, our days continue indoors, in quarantine. The lockdown measures have been extended until the end of April. This means the next four Weekend Stories posts will, more or less, look the same.
After a nice sleep in, N made us French Toast for breakfast. I kept telling him I felt like I was eating this at some swanky cafe for brunch but better.
The rest of the day was assigned as a much needed lazy-do-nothing-rest-and-nap day. It was a busy week at work and, whilst trialing a new morning routine, I did not sleep in time at night, thus the missed hours of sleep really caught up. We flicked through Netflix and Hulu, I had a few naps, lounged around reading and eating.
With my batteries some what recharged, I woke up on Sunday with more energy. What made it even better was N’s breakfast menu: Pancakes!
Finished a book and watered the green onion bulbs (I will provide weekly progress photos of the shoots growing).
Cleaned the apartment, worked out and then ate some fruits while I edited my next YouTube video (watch it here).
Felt so productive and good. To top it all off, N made homemade pizza for Sunday dinner, made from scratch with the dough he had set overnight. Absolute bliss. ‘Tis simple joys in life.
